E: When spouses divorce, what kind of tax law should they be mindful of that year? Is there special terms you can offer to enrich my fiction?
A: It’s hard to claim your ex as a dependent if you’re no longer married. Also I always have to negotiate who gets to claim the kids as dependents for state and federal returns. Usually this is done on odd and even years. Sometimes they just take one child and the other gets the other kid.
“I am trying to formulate a metaphor for what happens and what it looks like when an actual fire fly smashes into your windshield.”
A.J. writes weekly re-caps for our Green Prairie fantasy baseball league, and they are the only reason why I continue to play. I like the brisk verbs, I like the knowing tone, and I really like not understanding the matter of statistics. A.J. has a great way of constructing verbiage that he picks up, abandons, revives, modifies. In this overview, he makes use of tension among spouses; differences in scale among animals; Jackson Pollock’s brush work; evolutionary hang-ups; ghosts; and breaking hearts. And—recognizing this is definitely a tl;dr—I want to say here that my Boleyn’s Batters are in 3rd place.
Subject: RW Breakdown/Midweek Breakdown
Rivalry week was all it was hyped up to be and more. I believe the GPFL rivalry week is featured in ESPN’s June issue so the team managers will want to catch that but I’ll essay a breakdown here as well. Oh, and a midweeker, because, that’s what I do.
Whoa. Did anyone see what the Wizard of West Lafayette did to the Billy Bean of Bragg? It was a fantasy drumming. And Bizzard would have beat everyone last weekend, and likely everyone over every other previous week. His squad had a monster week. His pickup of Adieny Hechavaria, a player I dropped as he was proving to be the dampest of squibs in the Florida sun, managed to knock in 7 RBI’s along with a coveted grand slam. I predict Adieny will slip back into subpar performances from here on out- but perhaps may flourish under the beloved attention of the Bizznasty Crew. If he does flounder I know Bizz will replace him quickly, and his replacement will work and will be lethal.
Did the boyfriend/husband trifecta of Jerrod/Todd/Myself keep a toehold (very thin toehold) on our masculinity by routing our significant others? Yes. Did I think it would happen. No. Amazingly, Tayler lost and still maintained her 2nd place status. Jerrod has moved himself into 4th place by besting Ally’s Equipe 11-5. Todd’s 10-5 drubbing of Katie should not be surprising. His team should compete with everybody and his current place is underrated. His team has potential. Naturally, Tayler’s overall placing has made me question many things in my life. Did we really name our dog Lady Cora? Yes. Why did we do that? She wins at everything.
The Hunter/Fuller clash was an epic battle that I would say initially resembled wounded, toothless, clawless bunny rabbits hopping into each other, to and fro, in a child’s pack-n-play. But then Hunter surged against Fuller, overtook his rival, thumped him, if you will allow, 11-2. And when the smoke cleared Monday morning it was apparent that this fight actually resembled a very small bird, a chickadee or thrush, gracefully and mindlessly eating a caterpillar.
Evan swatted Jacob’s fire flies with a 13-1 score. It was brutal. I am trying to formulate a metaphor for what happens and what it looks like when an actual fire fly smashes into your windshield. That yellow-green neon-bioluminescent streak that cuts across the passenger side windshield like Jackson Pollock flicking paint at a canvas. That’s what I’m trying to conjure and that’s how quick and brutal and clean Evan’s win was. Instead of trying to conjure it I just spelled it out.
I would like to say Jeremy’s team is recovering from the loss against the Bizznast Crew- but he’s currently locked in a tight contest with Boleyn’s Batters. Clearly they have not collected themselves. Although- Evan runs a very precise team; he does not allow himself a lot of roster moves, because he does not have a lot of players on his roster. His no fuss style has propelled him into a remarkable 3rd place. If Dusty Baker would stop allowing that dolt Corky Miller to catch and promote Mesoroco to full-time duty Evan’s offensive stats would increase. Corky Miller! 48 years old, batting .125.
I am playing Katie’s Monodon’s. I slipped today by not starting Leake as he pitched for the Reds. This was an hoest mistake as the Reds occasionally deploy theWednesday business man special and start the game at like nine o’clock in the morning. I looked at my lineup at 12:45 and the game had already started. Apparently this was when Dusty Baker looked at the lineup too. Because he started Mike Leake and Corky Miller at the same time. And that’s the second dig I’ve had on Dusty Baker in this breakdown. Good luck Katie, I plan on taking your monodons to the pelagic zone, starving them of vital nutrients and sunlight. And making them feel cold. And not letting them hit the ball.
Todd is facing Fuller’s squad. I enjoy Fuller’s team and his style because it reminds me of playing baseball in my backyard growing up and using ghost runners. In fact, it’s actually very similar accept it’s like Fuller has real ghosts on his team who, as is known, have trouble manipulating the physical world. This makes it difficult for them to wield a bat or pitch a baseball. Surprisingly, it does not help them steal bases. Todd has too much talent on his squad to be in 8th. This week he will gain some ground.
MD Redbirds versus Bizznasty Crew is one of two interesting matchups this week; the other being The Equipe and bootybal. Jerrod has jumped out to an early lead which the whole league wishes to be sustained as Bizzard is moving out of reach. Ally and Tayler I believe should be closer; Tayler’s lineup is heavily populated with National’s players and they’ve had rainouts. Span and Harper have been unable to produce. Could be anybody’s game between these four team.
Jacob’s team needs a win. Especially after last week’s trouncing. Hunter’s squad is the perfect rebound date. Jacob can keep things close, be a gentleman the first few days, move into some questionable areas; not call her back right away, then not at all for whole days at a time, and then end up doing some very weird headgames with her, be cruel about her vocabulary and the way she says prolly instead of probably and how she’s not actually that pretty but she is really, no really, very funny, and he likes that about her. And then he dumps her, like hard. Like 12 or 14-2 hard.
Jake over Hunt like 12 or 14-2.
Cromwell over Monodon 19-0
MD Redbirds over Jizz Nasty Crew 10-5
Equipe Canadian et bootybal 7-7 (jamais choix votre belle-soeur contre votre femme)
Batters beats Peffercorn 9-6
Physeter over Fuller 11-4
Here is the happy family: